Charlie Delta Mike
by 1-1 Marines
Summary: Wanna now what happened to Ramirez after MW2. Here it is.
1. Chapter 1

**ME: Alright, I remember making a little Martin Luther King Day fic. Now's time for a little Cinco de Mayo fanfic for all my Hispanic fans (assuming I have fans of any ethnicity; not that it should matter since we've all crossbred by now).**

**Time to shed some light on the fate of Private James Ramirez, Hunter Two-One, 1st Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, otherwise known as the 1st Ranger Battalion...**

**Foley: RAMIREZ! TELL THE READERS TO SKIP THIS BORING INTRO WHILE RELOADING EVERYONES WEAPON!**

**Ramirez: (sigh) On it...Hey guys this nice author promoted me...**

**Foley: RAMIREZ!**

**Ramirez: You know what, let's just cut to the chase!**

**Foley: RAM-.**

**Foley: ...**

**Ramirez: Ha ha sucker.**

[["Charlie Delta Mike"]]

[[May 5th, 2017 - 06:00:10 Hours]]**  
**

[[Corporal JamesRamirez]]

[[1st Battalion**, **75th Ranger Regimet]]

Corporal James Ramirez sighed as he got out of his bunk. It's not just that he didn't enjoy serving his country...

_"Ramirez! Get to the roof and check out the supply drop!"_

That was just the world famous Battle of Burgertown.

_"Ramirez! Use your laser designator to call in artillery on those vehicles!"_

Arlington_, _Virgina_._

_"Ramirez! Move up and stay out of that LAVs line of fire!"_

It wasn't even an LAV-25, but Ramirez knew better than to try to correct Foley.

_"Ramirez! Last mag, make it count!"_

Yep_._Because he was in such good shape to NOT waste thirty 5.56 NATO roundsoperating out ofthat Blackhawk wreck.

_"Ramirez, t__ake point."_

Couldn't he get a break sometime soon?

_"Use your flares!"_

That was aimed at everyone, and his Sergeant may have finally forgotten about him when they saved the White House.

"_Ramirez! Use nothing but this abandoned point-twenty-two with only one bullet in it against that battalion of T-Ninety tanks while we enjoy this Broadway production even though we have to help you by law!"_

_Wrong. _His fortunes had spiraled downward from that point on, so that particular Battle of New York had only been saved when a flight of A-10 Warthogs had destroyed the enemy armored vehicles.

_"Ramirez, distract those Ivans while we find a German chocolate cake that we somehow can't locate!"_

It was odd that they couldn't find German chocolate cakes in Hamburg, but Ramirez couldn't focus as he fought off numerous foot-mobiles while Foley, Dunn and the rest of Hunter Two-One tried to find that cake. If it wasn't for the Marines they were operating alongside, Ramirez probably would have been (mercifully) killed.

_"Ramirez! Use this baguette to take out those tangos!"_

How that piece of French bread kept him alive in that chemical and bullet rich city that Paris had become was a mystery. Fortunately no one else on the squad had noticed the Eiffel Tower being destroyed, so at least Ramirez wouldn't have to repair _that_.

_"Ramirez! Use that rolling pin we found out of that bakery to save this crumbling place!_"

Unsurprisingly in the face of Russian opposition they were forced to pull out of Berlin, with Ramirez of course being blamed even though he didn't even get to fire a single bullet due to Foley stealing his M4 and giving it to a blonde baker that reminded him of someone. Was it that movie character, Peeta..

Shaking his head, he noticed his squad mates-or were they his puppeteers? "RAMIREZ!"

"What?"

They revealed a cake. "Happy _Cinco_ _de_ _Mayo_!"

"I'm actually Cuban-," he said, but he cut himself off as he promptly ate the cake in one big bite.

Dunn looked at him. "Did you just eat it even though you're not even Mexican?"

"Yep."

"You do realize we only got that for you since we thought you were Mexican?"

"Uh-," Ramirez said, before regretting his decision regarding the consumption of the delicious chocolate delicacy. Why?

He threw up. And it convenieintly all landed on Foley.

"RAMIREZ!"

**Poor Ramirez. The one time he gets a Holiday from orders and he just so happens to make a slight mistep that throws it all away.**

**I made this mainly because the whole "_Cinco_ _de_ _Mayo" _thing can be attributed to some Mexican victory over the Frenchies. Even though it's not to be celebrated considering how ever since Napolean, Joan of Arc and Lafayette died there have been no real significant French war heroes (hey, it's true, you guys got conquered by Germany over the course of what, six, seven weeks?), it did distract the world during the American Civil War, enabling Yankees and Rebels to fight each other.**

**Also, I'm thinking of Ramirez, Dunn, Foley, McCord and Morgan be recurited for the Joint Strike Force (see "Ideas for our heroes"). Like it or not?**


	2. Chapter 2

**ME:** **Okay**, **now** **this will be my last update for a while. Standby while I torture Corporal James Ramirez ****even** **further.**

**RAMIREZ: You know what Mr. Authorman? I say-.**

**FOLEY: RAMIREZ! QUIT DISRESPECTING THE PERSON BRINGING US BACK TO THE ATTENTION OF CALL OF DUTY FANS WORLDWIDE!**

**RAMIREZ: (Sigh) Well you're the boss.**

**DUNN: RAMIREZ! GET ME A COFFEE!**

**RAMIREZ: Since when did you become Sergeant Foley?**

**ME: Just about everyone moved up in rank. Foley went from Sergeant to Staff Sergeant, you went from Private to, remarkable considering you went from E-1 to E-4 so quickly, Corporal and Dunn went from Corporal to Sergeant. There's also Macey-.**

**MACEY: Hey, why am I here? I never even did anything in the game!**

**KEATING: Yeah me-.**

**ME: Before I was rudely interrupted, it appears that, in order to cancel out their lack of action, Sergeant Macey and Corporal Keating are now reassigned to Hunter Two-One.**

**EVERYONE BUT ME: WHAT?**

**WADE: How did this happen?**

**RAMIREZ: Wait! You're supposed to be dead!**

**ME: Turns out the bullet hit the back of his helmet. Just bruised him. Was more of a non-lethal "Vulcan death grip" than anything else.**

**FOLEY: RAMIREZ! CHECK TO SEE IF WADE IS MORE OF A MARY-SUE THAN YOU!**

**WADE: Wait, no one here's a Mary-Sue. We're all guys, right boss?**

**FOLEY: ...**

**DUNN: Does this mean I get promoted to Staff Sergeant since Foley appears to be a woman?**

**FOLEY: I'M NOT DUNN! BESIDES, WHY DOES GENDER MATTER IN THIS STORY?**

**RAMIREZ: You do realize that as of right now females CANNOT be in the Seventy-Fifth, right?**

**MORGAN: Oh it's a fanfic for Petes sake Ramirez. Plus this takes place nearly five years into the future.**

**ME: Okay, by Mary-Sue, Foley meant some overly-perfect person you won't find in real life.**

**MCCORD: Oh...**

**SANDLER: We knew that!**

**RAMIREZ: Let's just get my torture over with...**

[["Charlie Delta Mike"]]

[[May 6,2012- 06:04:30 Hours]]

[[Private James Ramirez]]

[[1st Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment]]

[[Hunter Army Airfield, Savannah, Georgia]]

Corporal Ramirez was dreaming once more. He had reached the end of his enlistment and was discharged. Now he could leave and try to forget-.

SPLASH!

Water made its presence known to his face, and he groggily woke up, Ramirez half-expecting Foley to be responsible-.

"And opening his eyes just in time for Dunn to end up sitting on his face.

"DUNN!" a familiar voice yelled. "SERGEANT, WHY ARE YOU SITTING ON RAMIREZS FACE?"

Before his fireteam leader could answer, he cut the cheese.

And boy did it smell bad...

When Ramirez awoke, he was in a Blackhawk helicopter. Shaking his head, he found the only other passenger to be the Rangers CO. Colonel Marshall. Yes, the full-bird was in there with him, of all people.

"Sir?" he asked, but Marshall was on the radio.

"Marshall here, over... Yep, we're Oscar Mike, ETA nine-zero seconds...Copy, I'll be there as soon as we drop him off. Out."

With that, he motioned Ramirez up. He could see where they were going. There was the Statue of Liberty, so Dunn must've eaten burritos again if he was out for THAT long. He was wondering why they were all they way in New York.

"What's going on?" Ramirez asked his superior, expecting an answer. The Colonel thought about answering, then his boot went up. Before the Cuban Corporal could even question that, he found himself roundhouse kicked-Chuck Norris style out of the UH-60.

Ramirez could only scream and flail his arms as he plummeted into the water. Swimming out of NY Harbor, he found himself on Liberty Island.

Then he noticed two things; a dishrag and some soap. Plus a old, worn-down toothbrush.

Nice.

**Thank Mojo Greatest Hits Volume One for this men and women! 1-1 Marines, until further notice, out!**


End file.
